Being intentional about what fills my world is a priority for me, so I had to eliminate the negativity that surrounded me. This includes social media and my in-person circle of friends because it is all part of my life feed.
I have been adjusting my family and friend relationships to shield myself from negativity. I stopped watching the news. I am intentional about which TV shows I watch, and which conversations I participate in. I continually hone my Facebook friends list- unfriending those who bring drama, chaos, hate, and negativity to my life, and unfollowing those who I do not want to totally lose touch with.
This is a personal and subjective process. If interactions with someone shallow my breathing from anxiety, confuse my mind from negativity, or make me question my worth, I move away from them.
Eliminating Negativity and Creating My Circle
I am learning to fill my world with thoughts and people who bring goodness and growth. It’s not an easy process. Do you know how taboo it is to end a friendship- even on Facebook? Do you know how negative and cynical most people are? Tell them you are changing your life feed to positive and you become either a laughing stock or negativity rod.
What I am learning is that those who laugh at this process, or think it looking at the world through rose colored glasses, are not going to be part of my circle anyway. They are not individuals who I will interact with on a regular basis, so it does not matter whether they value my new set of priorities.
I see that those who are in my circle- the individuals I am learning from who also seek personal growth, justice, and information are not impacted by the cackles of cynics. Their heart rate does not increase when they are told they are lofty, their clarity does not turn to self doubt with the reminder of how awful is the world.
The victims of life and negativity dwellers are the people I want to move away from. How can I move forward, grow, and become better if I listen to gossip and doom? How can I get over that negative part of myself- whose comfort level falls on comfort and doom, if it is prevalent in my life? How can I create growth for my children, if they are surrounded by people who cannot recover from having a lifelong belief debunked- whose need to maintain their personal status quo is so great, that it skews their world view?
So I am opting out of that world, and it is scary. It is not a common thing to do- and many who are reading this are already saying things in their head like “well doesn’t she just think she’s the greatest?”, or some other equally unsupportive thing.
For a long time, my world was mostly made up of these people, and leaving it is lonely. It’s unsure. It’s uncertain. I do not know what it means, or what my life will look like, or if I will make more friends- like the kind of friends who fill your soul up- not the ones who will gossip about your neighbor with you.
But what I know from making other huge life changes is this: to move forward, I have to let go of what I want to leave behind. I have to trust that the right people and guides will show up, and bring me to where I don’t even know I want to go yet. They will come. They always do.
Anyone want to come with me?