In Love With Your Children: A Letter For My Husband

Dear Kris,

I am writing to day to tell you that you are doing a great job.  It has taken work, I know.  But when you come home after being away- even just for the day- your children melt into you.  I know you do the same.

I thank you for always making sure the dishwasher is empty before you leave and for always volunteering to change a diaper.  I am grateful that you understand that being a stay at home mom is lonely and constant and that you offer support is real and practical ways.

Your patience with me when mine has vanished is not missed- by me or our children.  They learn from the way that you treat me.

When you have been solving other people’s problems all day long  I know it is hard to walk through the door to dishes in the sink, the stove without dinner and the kids unbathed.  I suspect it would be really nice to come home to the alternative.  In fact, I know it is because it is what I come home to!

And still, when you come in it is seldom that I see any bit of frustration or annoyance in your eyes.   Mostly you are just so happy to see your family.

I think what I love the most though is watching your journey into fatherhood.  We are on a different and unexpected path  that either of us expected- having our babies in our bed and addressing every need that they have.  I wondered for a long time if this is really okay with you or if somehow my sureness had made it impossible for you to tell me otherwise.

Then one day you told me that you could not imagine not having the children with us in bed and that you don’t sleep well when you are away because Owen is not near your own body.  It was at that moment that I fully understood how far you had come as a man- that you have fallen totally and completely in love with your children.

I have watched as it has been difficult for you to override your own challenges and emotions and needs- and I can see you working through them in so many situations.  I observe as you try to wrap your mind around what it must be like to be Owen or Sydney and flip through the various solutions that I have shared with you.

This to me is the most admirable thing a parent can do; constantly challenge themselves and think about how to make themselves better- for their children.

With all of our challenges as a couple our most important goal is shared; that our children are given the most useful tools and childhood and the best parts of ourselves.  We know this goal will never differ.

Happy Father’s Day to a dad and husband who is working hard and whose children trust and adore him.