Giving My Daughter Her Space: Motherhood Moment #6

Giving My Daughter her Space

by Jennifer Andersen

This is Sydney. Totally and completely.  Directly behind me there were 7 other children playing in a fort constructed out of limbs and branches.  They were chasing each other and running and laughing and sometimes playing “bad guys”.  It wasn’t that Sydney did not participate in the fun, or play with the other children.  She did.

Sometimes though, Sydney needs a moment.  She needs to remove herself from the busyness and noise so that she can recharge.  Her mom is the opposite.  I process most things in life by thinking them through with others, so it took me some time to understand.

Now I do. So when I see that Sydney needs some space, I make sure that she gets it.  I help to keep the loudness and chaos away and postpone plans for a few more minutes.  When she asks, I allow her to rest her head in the crook of my neck and breathe in my familiar and comforting smell.  I let her melt into me, and go into herself.

Though sometimes giving Sydney this time makes us late or miss things, I understand that this is more important.  Giving her this time lets her know that I see what she needs, and will do what I can to make sure that she gets it.

Click here for “My Kids Live in a Bubble”.

16 Replies to “Giving My Daughter Her Space: Motherhood Moment #6”

  1. What you’re doing for your daughter is huge! The mother-daughter relationship can be so tough. Taking the time to understand that she is different than you and to really understand her is so great!

    • Shannon,

      Thank you for those words of encouragement. Doing this has given me so much. Not only do I slow down, but I get to see my daughter for who she really is… and she is pretty amazing <3 I am glad you came by!

  2. I have to step back in this way with my son a lot. I am able to understand it because I am the same way, but I am starting to see what a challenge it can be to parent a little one who’s personality is different from your own in so many ways.

    • Kylie,

      Yes! It really is a challenge to have different personality types. I am finding though that now that I “get it” things are becoming easier. I would love to hear from an introverted parent and extroverted child. Fortunately in our house, we have one of each type of parent- this really does help.

      Thank you so much for visiting!

  3. I am “Sydney” but grown up! 🙂 it is great that you are able to understand and honor her needs!

      • When I moved to another country, I struggled a lot since everybody seems to be on the go all the time and make no time for in-depth conversation. I hadn’t struggle with this in my home country with my birth family, friends, and/or work. So someone recommended me book 1.a.

        1.There are two books that were/are very helpful for me to understand myself and to understand that nothing is wrong with me:

        a. The introvert advantage: how to thrive in an extrovert world
        b. Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking

        2. Whenever she wants (or you might offer without her asking), allow time for her to be with herself, alone.

        3. Unscheduled time is liberating because we (innies) can follow whatever we’re thinking about without time limitations.

        4. Allow plenty of time for her decision-making/ for choosing among different options. I like to study all details and go back and forth in my mind a lot before making a decision.

        5. Engage in in-depth conversations according to age and interests.

  4. I was like Sydney when I was little (wait! I’m still like that), so wonderful that you are creating a safe environment for her to thrive in. As a new mum, I think I have somethings to learn from you!
    with admiration from your new follower

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