My goal is to make life as full as these moments as I can. Trust will get me there.
Having my first baby taught me lots of things, none more important than learning to trust my intuition.
Suddenly, the only thing that mattered to me was making my baby comfortable. Others opinions, beliefs, thoughts and approval steadily decreased in value, for the first time in my life. Each time I was faced with a decision, my choice was always made based on what would make my baby most content.
Most times this went against what magazines said, and advice that I was given, and practices happening around me and I felt alone and unsure. I knew that not matter what others said, I was always going to choose what was best for Owen; with the quiet ferocity of any mammal caring for her child.
Now my challenge is to continue trusting my intuition as the stakes seem higher. My choices are more visible now. Like when Owen is asked how school is going, or when one of my children wears pajamas to the library- and playing with toy guns and watching channels other than PBS.
When something feels off, my focus will be to seek clarity and to separate fact from fiction, just as I have done since Owen was days old in the hospital, and not to accept a belief simply because everyone around me has.
This continues to be a challenge for me, but I know that if I consistently come back to the place where all that matters is the well being of my children, clarity will come. That when I weigh my choice in terms of gaining the acceptance of others or allowing my children to live fully, my confidence will remain unshakeable.
After successfully navigating newborn and toddlerhood, we are entering another new and foreign territory. My simple plan is to prioritize mental clarity, keep my children as my only goal, and trust myself to trust them.
If I continue to return to these basics, I trust that life will go exactly as it should.
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