It is easy to lose focus when things get crazy. It is tempting to bend just a little bit to gain a few more readers. In the interest of personal accountability I must admit that I believe None of us are Mom Enough: I need to be clear about what I believe.
We are delving into new territory with all that has unraveled in the last week and I want to be clear about what I believe.
I do not believe that Cry It Out is okay. Ever.
I do not believe that sleep training is beneficial for a child.
I believe that babies are happier and safer in bed with their parents.*
I believe that on demand breastfeeding should be practiced by every mom who is able, exclusively for 6 months. And then for at least two years after that, not necessarily on demand .
I believe that when this is done, child-led weaning will be the norm.
I understand that nearly all moms are able to breastfeed and that we have tricked them into thinking they are not.
I have learned that nearly all of these moms wish they could have breastfed.
I believe that routine infant circumcision is wrong, unacceptable and a violation of the most basic human rights.
I believe that strollers, cribs, playpens and formula are designed to distance parents from their babies and that much is lost by using them standardly.
I do not believe that any of us are mom enough. I believe that we should always be trying to improve and become better for our children.
I believe that each of us is strong enough and capable enough to fulfill this role.
I believe that we should listen to and consider why others have made the choices that they have. If we do not, this makes us ignorant and closed to change.
I believe that a new mother should be supported in whatever way she needs, and that it is her partners responsibility to make sure that happens. And that if she has no partner, then a mother, a father or a friend needs to step in.
I believe that mothers’ intuitions are primal and should be trusted above all else.
I believe that one should research and understand the implications of the choices that they make for their children. And that it is best when they can refute irrelevant knowledge with fact.
I believe that by being ambiguous we are encouraging ignorance and the perpetuation of information that is based on convenience, not fact or benefit.
I believe that big-business is behind the tragic disservice that has been done to our families.
I believe that nearly all moms and dads want what is best for their children.
I believe that all moms and dads are trying to balance more than should be expected of them, and that this forces them to make choices that are different than they would like.
I believe that mothers and fathers should have enough support to make choices that they want, instead of limited options deciding for them.
I believe that children are worthy beings; worthy of our efforts and clarity and our own inconvenience.
I believe that parents should be respectful and kind to others and their children.
I believe that in most cases we can enjoy, be friends with, and respect others- no matter our parenting choices.
I believe these conversations are important and necessary and that it is good that we are having them.
I believe that caring for our babies and our children and supporting families is the most important and beneficial change we can make for our country and our world.
What do you believe?
*always follow safe bedsharing practices