Maintaining and Repairing your Connection with your Children Weekly Round Up 12

You want to maintain connection with your children, and repair it when it is broken. Traditional parenting techniques do not achieve this, and you may find yourself wondering what to do.  Each of the following posts offers useful and practical insights for connecting with your children.  Bookmark this page so that you can access it regularly.

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This is one of the most practical and useful articles that I have ever read. It also fills me with hope, warmth, and inspiration.  My oldest child, (nearly 6) took the brunt of my lack of parenting skills as a toddler.  I was doing what everyone else told me to do and it never felt right.  I yelled.  A lot.  I was mean, controlling, and treated him as society told me I should- like less than a person.  I always apologized though, and I continue to.  I have seen that the words in this article are true, and I encourage everyone to take the time to read every word.  If you need it, it will be life changing… for both you and your child.  Here is an excerpt:

Repairing the Connection after Conflict with your Child by Genevieve Simperingham of Peaceful Parent Institute

“The extent that the child is impacted depends on whether they can find their voice during the conflict and whether they have the chance to express themselves honestly and gain some resolution afterwards. But even smaller conflicts and misunderstandings may need repairing.  There are many ways to re-connect, many ways to convey remorse, when the intention is there, repair will happen.”  Click here to read.

Boston
Boston, MA.

I am quickly falling in love with the work of Sam Vickery.  After reading this article, you will too.  While you are on her site, take a look at the “Sam I Am” celebration of breastfeeding video she made for World Breastfeeding Week.  It’s amazing.  In this particular article, Sam discusses why punishments do not work.  It is a quick read, and well worth your time.  Here is an excerpt:

Why Punishing Our Children Leads to Behavioural Issues by Sam Vickery of Love Parenting

“It is proof in itself they don’t work, simply by the sheer volume of times a parent will have to repeat a punishment to see lasting results. I have seen parents who give “time-out” three or four times in the same morning, or making the same unheard threats of loosing their swimming trip over and over again. I have seen children removed from playing, or sent to the “naughty step” only to repeat the behaviour just moments later.”  Click Here to Read.

Tucson, AZ
Tucson, AZ

Jenn is my go-to for all things parenting.  When I am feeling lost or stuck, or feel like I am ready to dig a little deeper, I head over to The Path Less Taken and inhale her every word.  Her advocacy for children, and dedication to humanizing them always pushed me further, and reminds me that others have gone before me on this path toward gentle parenting.  Here, Jennifer McGrail wonders why we adults are comforted when we are overwhelmed with emotion, but children are banished.

Your Kids are Communicating with you, Not Manipulating You by Jennifer McGrail

“So sometimes, despite our best intentions, we have tantrums. Sometimes it’s just plain hard not to. How much harder it must be then for a 3 or a 5 or a 7 year old?  For a child who doesn’t have our life experience, or maturity, or language skills? For a child who for some reason is not only expected to behave as well as a grownup, but somehow behave BETTER than a grownup?”   Click here to read more.

I hope that you found these articles useful for maintaining and repairing connection with your children. I sure do.

Happy family living everyone!  Have a great weekend!