Attachment Parenting: What One Family Wants You To Know

Attachment Parenting in real life.

I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival buttonWelcome to the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.

This Carnival is dedicated to empowering ALL parents who practice and promote and peaceful, loving, attachment parenting philosophy. We have asked other parents to help us show the critics and the naysayers that attachment parenting is beautiful, uplifting, and unbelievably beneficial and NORMAL!

In addition to the Carnival, Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy are co-hosting a Linky Party. Please stop by either blog to share any of your posts on the topic.

Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. Post topics are wide and varied, and every one is worth a read.

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Here is what my family and I want you to know about Attachment Parenting  (AP):

Most of us who practice AP did not even know that what we were doing had a name until after we had been doing it.

Attachment Parenting is not permissive parenting.  My family has guidelines and we all must be respectful.

We are not afraid of our babies cries, but understand them for what they are;  a desperate call for help.

Our children are already self-sufficient in ways  I never expected, like making their own sandwiches and getting their little sister a glass of water.

There are no rules to Attachment Parenting,  but there are choices that connect us more deeply with our children.

We use a jogging stroller when we run and go for long walks into town or around the city, but when our children were babies we chose to wear or carry them so that they stayed close.

We do not have a garden or make our own clothing and occasionally we eat McDonald’s.

My children always have the option of sleeping in their own room and we (all four) are so very happy to share one family bed.

If you could see how content and cuddly and happy we are while sleeping, you would understand why my children make their choice.

It is laughable to think of forcing a child (of any age) to nurse!

I have a Bachelor of Science in Behavioral Science.  My husband has a Master’s Degree and many professional certifications.

Though we may not typically nurse while our child stands on a chair, we nurse in unexpected positions.

It was a huge adjustment for both my husband and I to completely give our lives to our children, and we resisted for a long time.

When we embraced giving ourselves over, life became simpler, fuller and more joyful than we ever could have prayed for.

I am 37, my husband is 36 and our children are 2 and 4.

We are not the stereotypically depicted over-acheiving parents who are constantly trying unreal parenting fads.

As our children get older, our relationships change;  nursing becomes less frequent and consoling comes in the form of conversation and cuddles.

The intense connection that my husband and I have with our children allows us to assist them in useful ways.

I was an unlikely attachment parent and my husband resisted it. Our marriage has had its fair share of trying times because of this.

My husband and my most important goal is shared.  This has encouraged us to work  through more challenges in our marriage than we would have otherwise.

We got to know our babies so well that it has made working through things with our toddler and four year old easier.

I shop at the mall.

I used to think it inappropriate for non-infants to nurse.

We say “no” and model respect.  Our children do the same.

I screw up.  A lot.

My husband screws up.  A lot.

We make choices that negatively impact our children.

We always strive to do better.

There is nothing about our life that feels extreme.  Instead, things seem natural and we feel little internal conflict.

The only thing my husband and I are confident about in life is our choice to consistently connect with our children.

We can not imagine what we would have missed if we has listened to “everybody” instead of our children.

(Note that after “interviewing” the kids in this video, there is something different- so hang in there!)


 

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Thank you for visiting the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children.
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants and check out previous posts at the linky party hosted by Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon May 28 with all the carnival links.)

  • Good Enough? — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy writes about how Good Enough is not Good Enough, if you use it as an excuse to stop trying.
  • The High Cost of High Expectations JeninCanada at Fat and Not Afraid shares what it’s like to NOT feel ‘mom enough’ and wanting to always do better for herself and family.
  • TIME to Be You! — Becky at Old New Legacy encourages everyone to be true to themselves and live their core values.
  • I am mom and I have had ENOUGH — A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
  • Motherhood vs. Feminism — Doula Julia at juliamannes.com encourages feminists to embrace the real needs and cycles and strengths of women.
  • There Is No Universal Truth When It Comes To Parenting — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses how parenting looks around the world and why there is no universal parenting philosophy.
  • Attachment Parenting Assumptions — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings argues that attachment parenting is not just for the affluent middle-classes, and that as parents we all need to stop worrying about our differences and start supporting each other.
  • Thoughts on Time Magazine, Supporting ALL Mamas, and Advocating for the Motherless — Time Magazine led That Mama Gretchen to think about her calling as a mother and how adoption will play an important role in growing her family.
  • Attachment Parenting: the Renewed Face of Feminism — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children embraces her inner feminist as she examines how the principles of attachment parenting support the equal treatment of all.
  • What a Mom Wants! — Clancy Harrison from Healthy Baby Beans writes about how women need to support each other in their different paths to get to the same destination.
  • Attachment Parenting: What One Family Wants You To Know — Jennifer, Kris, 4 year old Owen and 2 year old Sydney share the realities of attachment parenting, and how very different it looks than the media’s portrayal.
  • We ALL Are Mom Enough — Amy W. of Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work thinks that all mothers should walk together through parenthood and explores her feelings in prose.
  • A Typical Day Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares what a typical day with her attached family looks like…all in the hopes to shed light on what Attachment Parenting is, what it’s not and that it’s unique within each family!
  • The Proof is in the (organic, all-natural) Pudding — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about how, contrary to what the critics say, the proof that attachment parenting works in visible in the children who are parented that way.
  • I am mom and I have had ENOUGH A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
  • Time Magazine & Mommy Wars: Enough! What Really Matters? — Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter encourages moms to stop fighting with each other, and start alongside each other.
  • Attachment parenting is about respect — Lauren at Hobo Mama breaks down what attachment parenting means to her to its simplest level.
  • I am an AP mom, regardless… — Jorje ponders how she has been an Attachment Parenting mom regardless of outside circumstances at Momma Jorje.
  • The first rule of Attachment Parenting is: You Do Not Talk about Attachment Parenting — Emily discusses, with tongue aqnd cheek, how tapping into our more primal selves actually brings us closer to who we are rather than who we think we should be.
  • Mom, I am. — Amy at Anktangle discusses how Attachment Parenting is a natural extension of who she is, and she explains the ways her parenting approach follows the “live and let live” philosophy, similar to her beliefs about many other areas of life.
  • I Breastfeed My Toddler for the Nutritional Benefits — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares why ‘extended’ breastfeeding is not extreme and how she is still nursing her toddler for the nutritional benefits.
  • I Am Dad Enough! — Attachment parenting does not only have to be about moms; their partners are just as important. In Code Name: Mama’s family, Dionna’s husband, Tom, is papa enough for lots of things.

 

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Comments

  1. This is a fantastic way to present AP. I love the way you did this! :)

    • Thank you Kymberlee! It occurred to me that those unfamiliar with AP- and those who misunderstand it- are missing what it is really like! I appreciate the feedback and the visit.

  2. “There are no rules to Attachment Parenting, but there are choices that connect us more deeply with our children.”
    Yes. I am so saddened when I see parents online criticizing each other for doing something that falls outside of the perceived “rules” of AP. We’re all doing the best we can, and it’s all going to look a little bit different for each family.

    • This is something I myself struggle with. Through some forums that I am on I have learned the value of folks letting me know when I am off base. It is done directly and matter of factly. Not kindly or unkindly. These exchanges have allowed me to become so much closer to my children because I thought I was doing something differently than I actually was. I guess it may come down to if we are willing to hear the message being delivered, if it is being done genuinely and if we trust that the person delivering the message is knowledgeable and well intentioned.

  3. I need to steal the quote that Dionna pulled because I simply LOVE IT! This is a really great post. It puts a very “real” face with this “idealist” way of parenting. I think AP gets confused with perfection. Your version of AP looks a lot like mine. There are blips, and shortcuts, and imperfection. If more anti-APers read this post, I think they would discover that they are closet AP families. ;)

    Thanks for joining in on the Carnival!

    • Thanks, Jennifer. I agree with you, and given that perfection is impossible, no wonder people think AP is extreme! Thanks so much for hosting this carnival and for stopping by.

  4. I’m going to agree with Dionna and Jennifer. Great quote! How liberating it would be for everyone if we could stop looking at life as full of rules and start acknowledging our choices…

  5. This is brilliant! I love the way you’ve written it and have come across so ‘real’ and have made AP seem so accessible. Fantastic post!

  6. So cool and so brave of you to open yourself & family up to show about attachment parenting! Beautiful family. From one attached MA mom to another, thank you :-)

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