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An Opinionated Lady: A Letter to My Daughter

My daughter is  a spirited wonder.  This makes life wonderful and challenging as described in ” An Opinionated Lady “.

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To Sydney- Our Opinionated Lady:

This is what your dad has taken to calling you.  I crack up laughing every single time he says it- both because of your dad’s dry sense of humor, and its accuracy.

At not yet two, you are fiercely independent.  You already have such a strong sense of who you are, what you want and the tools that you need to get there.

For example, you have already shared your fashion sense with us.  You love to wear Owen’s boxer briefs; over your diaper, over your clothes or under your dress.  It does not matter if we are leaving for the store or the playground, you have learned where to find them and how to put them on, and there they are staying.

I have received some disapproving looks from fellow shoppers.  While I would like to say that the looks don’t bother me, I really want to tell every passerby: “I know it is really weird that my daughter is wearing her brothers underwear over her clothes, but she is expressing herself and making choices on her own, and I don’t want to squelch the development of her identity”.

Mostly these looks come from women who have great grand children and I think the message may offend them, so I keep it in my head.  Especially because they likely saw Owen wearing his space suit while shopping yesterday. This must confirm their suspicion that your mother has no sense of how to be an appropriate parent.

Your demands and requests are reasonable: you want less milk in your cereal,  your Mardi Gras beads must be around your neck to finish an outfit and it is not acceptable to wear anything other than Owen’s hand me down rain boots (even though they are torn and too small).

Sometimes I become frustrated with your needs being so great and immediate, but then I witness your magnetic and authentic personality.  You come running to me and say “awwww….hug” and collapse in my arms, or you make your “funny face” that brings laughter to each of your family members.  You are engaged, experiential and present in life.  It is inspiring.

Your dad often asks with tears in his eyes “what did we do before her?!”  That is of course, a rhetorical question.

With all of the fear that I had about mothering two children at the same time, the anxiety that stemmed from wanting to give both you and Owen what you need, and ensuring that neither of you received the “short end of the stick”, life could not be any way other than having both of you as our children.

When I return home from running an errand or having a pedicure,  I fully realize the expression of one’s heart singing as soon as I see your little face.  I know instantly that you feel it too.

You are adored, laughed with and snuggled incessantly.  We appreciate every single bit of you; your joy, your wittiness, your kindness and your compassion.

We are grateful that you are taking an active role in the development of your personality- even though at times it can make things “high need” for your mom and dad.  We are grateful that you are indeed, Our Opinionated Lady.

I love you Sydney.

Love,

Mommy

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