Overcoming Negativity: Switching My Life Feed to Positive and Intentional Living

Being intentional about what fills my world is a priority for me, so I had to eliminate the negativity that surrounded me. This includes social media and my in-person circle of friends because it is all part of my life feed.

I have been adjusting my family and friend relationships to shield myself from negativity. I stopped watching the news. I am intentional about which TV shows I watch, and which conversations I participate in. I continually hone my Facebook friends list- unfriending those who bring drama, chaos, hate, and negativity to my life, and unfollowing those who I do not want to totally lose touch with.

Overcoming Negativity: Switching My Life Feed to Positive by Jennifer Andersen OurMuddyBoots.com

Overcoming Negativity: Switching My Life Feed to Positive by Jennifer Andersen OurMuddyBoots.com

This is a personal and subjective process. If interactions with someone shallow my breathing from anxiety, confuse my mind from negativity, or make me question my worth, I move away from them.

Eliminating Negativity and Creating My Circle

I am learning to fill my world with thoughts and people who bring goodness and growth. It’s not an easy process. Do you know how taboo it is to end a friendship- even on Facebook? Do you know how negative and cynical most people are? Tell them you are changing your life feed to positive and you become either a laughing stock or negativity rod.

What I am learning is that those who laugh at this process, or think it looking at the world through rose colored glasses, are not going to be part of my circle anyway. They are not individuals who I will interact with on a regular basis, so it does not matter whether they value my new set of priorities.

I see that those who are in my circle- the individuals I am learning from who also seek personal growth, justice, and information are not impacted by the cackles of cynics. Their heart rate does not increase when they are told they are lofty, their clarity does not turn to self doubt with the reminder of how awful is the world.

The victims of life and negativity dwellers are the people I want to move away from. How can I move forward, grow, and become better if I listen to gossip and doom? How can I get over that negative part of myself- whose comfort level falls on comfort and doom, if it is prevalent in my life? How can I create growth for my children, if they are surrounded by people who cannot recover from having a lifelong belief debunked- whose need to maintain their personal status quo is so great, that it skews their world view?

I cannot.

So I am opting out of that world, and it is scary. It is not a common thing to do- and many who are reading this are already saying things in their head like “well doesn’t she just think she’s the greatest?”, or some other equally unsupportive thing.

For a long time, my world was mostly made up of these people, and leaving it is lonely. It’s unsure. It’s uncertain. I do not know what it means, or what my life will look like, or if I will make more friends- like the kind of friends who fill your soul up- not the ones who will gossip about your neighbor with you.

But what I know from making other huge life changes is this: to move forward, I have to let go of what I want to leave behind. I have to trust that the right people and guides will show up, and bring me to where I don’t even know I want to go yet. They will come. They always do.

Anyone want to come with me?


Why I Do Not Make My Kids Share: Empowering Myself and My Kids

Why I Do Not Make My Kids Share by Jennifer Andersen OurMuddyBoots.com

From the beginning it never felt right. Every time I forced my 18 month old to share a toy the sound of my own voice drove me bonkers. Ultimately, I decided not to make my kids share. As my son got older, I found myself conflicted. I knew the people I was with expected me to step in when my two year old would not share- to teach him a lesson, to … Continue Reading...

In the Wake of Orlando: When Darkness Falls Be the Light

In the Wake of Orlando be Light in the Darkness by Jennifer Hilliard OurMuddyBoots.com

This is a Facebook post written by a dear friend of mine- a woman who is brave. Jennifer is sharing her words in hopes that her voice might add to the light that is surely permeating the darkness. Thank you, Jen. I've been struggling to find the right things to say in the wake of this tragedy in Orlando, but the truth is that there really isn't … Continue Reading...

Instead of Judging My Kids I say “I Love Being Your Mom”

Instead of Judging My Kids I Say "I Love Being Your Mom" by Jennifer Andersen OurMuddyBoots.com

A couple of years ago, I read this piece about changing the way I speak to my children. It resonated immediately. Even though I meant well with my words, telling my daughter that she's an excellent hula hooper, or my son that he's a good builder, was forging an unintentional path for them. It created tension. I was placing value on what they … Continue Reading...

5 Easy Changes I Made to Feel Better

5 Easy Changes I Made to Feel Better by Jennifer Andersen OurMuddyBoots.com

A couple of years ago I was about to turn 40. I felt lousy. I was significantly overweight, and couldn't move in the ways I wanted. My skin looked old and frail, I had no energy, my sleep was horrible, and I lived in a near constant mental fog. Lovely. I knew something had to change, but I had no idea what to do- where to start. Though I … Continue Reading...

Are Those Really Natural Consequences?

Are Those Consequences Really Natural? Exploring Natural Consequences by Jennifer Andersen OurMuddyBoots.com

Sydney is 6 and she loves to create. Her mode of choice last week was modeling clay. She was making cool things- flowers, Minecraft swords, cats, abstract designs. I love watching her work. Each move is intentional and thoughtful. She has a vision, and she figures out how to bring it to fruition. She spends a good chunk of time on some of her … Continue Reading...

5 Changes I’ve Made to Go from Harried Woman to Organized Work at Home Homeschool Mom

by Jennifer Andersen OurMuddyBoots.com

When I look back to just a couple of years ago, the woman I see is disorganized, not creative. She is confused, and each day seems to pass by in a blur. When the night sets in, she finds herself wondering how all those hours passed. There is  a balance, of course. We want flexibility, spontaneity, and to leave plenty of time for impulse and … Continue Reading...

What I Wish I Knew Before Homeschooling

Mom holding son's hand at playground

I wish I knew then, that I need not send my distraught child away from me, for school- that there is no better place for him, than with me. I wish I knew then that I am capable, that it is possible, and that it is wonderful. I wish I knew then that the joy, connection, freedom, self confidence, and self-worth, that come from homeschooling, … Continue Reading...

Your Child Said No? Let’s Celebrate!

Your Child Said "No"? Let's Celebrate! By Carolyn Flynn, OurMuddyBoots.com

"No" is a powerful word. Adults use it in daily life to assert themselves, express an opinion, reject unwanted sexual advances, etc. but for some reason, when a child says "No" it is viewed as defiant, and is worthy of punishment. We respond with time-outs, withdrawal of attention, and removal of favored toys. When we strip our toddlers of … Continue Reading...

5 Unique Summer Activities for Non-Hikers in Colorado

5 Unique Summer Activities in Colorado for Non-Hikers

We live in Colorado, but we are not big hikers. Blasphemy, I know! We still find lots of unique and beautiful things to do here though. So if you live in, or are headed to, Colorado this summer, check out these five ways to experience the Rocky Mountain State. If you are looking for something beachy, or out of Colorado- check out the awesome … Continue Reading...

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